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September 24, 2012 / bethanyshondark

The Top Ten Ways Not to Be an Annoying Jerk on Facebook

1. When someone’s relationship status downgrades (in a relationship > single or married > it’s complicated) for the love of G-d don’t comment. Don’t click like. That’s really awkward.

2. Some gatherings should not have Facebook events created for them: funerals, memorials and weddings. Post information on the first two, but don’t send out invites like it’s a party. On the last, use an evite if you’re too cheap/lazy/pregnant to send invitations.

3. Don’t fight with your partner/spouse/significant other on Facebook. This takes two forms:

  • Posting passive aggressive status updates about the fight you just had. “My husband won’t let me buy a new sheitel! Ugh!”
  • Commenting on status updates, pictures, etc, passive aggressively. “Oh, I’m so glad you’ve had fun at the bar! I did all the laundry, by the way…”

4. Don’t invite people to groups without their expressed permission. They get 1,000 emails and notifications by the time they get to the group to turn them all off.

5. Don’t invite people to play games with you. If they wanted to grow a farm on Farmville, they’d already be there.

6. Facebook is not Twitter. This means two things: Don’t post all of your tweets to Facebook. Also, don’t post 10-20 times a day on Facebook with exactly what you’re doing, what your work shift is, and what you just ate. Nobody cares.

7. Don’t tag people in your posts – not on status updates that aren’t explicitly about them, not on pictures of things that are not them, and not links. If you want them to see a link, tag them in the comments. Tagging them on the post itself means that goes on their timeline, which all of their friends then see. I had a friend do this so often I changed my settings so that this wouldn’t automatically appear on my timeline, I now have to approve anything and everything. I should not have to change my Facebook settings because of one friend.

8. Stop complaining. You’re sick, you’re tired, I don’t really care. I’ve removed a dozen “Debbie Downers” from my newsfeed over the years. I just can’t take the constant stream of negativity. Also, if you’re sick, please for the love of Pete, don’t get graphic.

9. I love babies and I love politics. However, everyone is multi-dimensional and their Facebook should reflect that. You are not all about your baby or your political beliefs. Vary your posts to highlight that you are a complete person that cares about more than that one thing.

10. If someone hasn’t explicitly announced on Facebook they are engaged, pregnant or in labour, don’t post on their Facebook (or your own) about it. It’s their news, let them deliver it offline to everyone in their life before you let the cat out of the bag.

On the fence on this one: I personally think it’s in poor taste to write on people’s walls when someone important in their life dies (spouse, parent, sibling). However, I’ve heard from many people who have lost loved-ones in the time of Facebook that they appreciate the public showing of support. I prefer to send personal messages to folks, giving them the chance to open up if they so-chose, but I have removed this one from my list.

Tell me in the comments: What are your biggest pet peeves on Facebook? Do you think it’s appropriate to post on folk’s walls after a death in the family?




Leave a Comment
  1. Karol / Sep 24 2012 2:07 pm

    Not that I would “like” or leave a comment but isn’t there a way for the relationship downgrade not to show up to the public? Like, can’t you just remove that status completely. If you’re going from married to single (or worse married to complicated) can’t you just leave it blank? If you don’t you’re just inviting commentary.

  2. esteelavitt / Sep 24 2012 2:23 pm

    Signing petitions and encouraging others to do the same by posting your signature on MY timeline. How is that normal?

  3. Moshpitsoccermom / Sep 24 2012 4:09 pm

    Cryptic status updates, that, like fishing for compliments, are passively inviting “what’s wrong, hun?” comments. Ex.: “Totally not cool, dude. Not even funny.” Or “Yeah. Ok. Message received.” In the complete absence of context, it’s eye-rollingly annoying!

    • Tasha Turner / Sep 24 2012 9:43 pm

      Totally agree with you on this one. Hate it when people do this.

    • chewie402 / Sep 25 2012 8:14 am

      That’s called “Vague-Booking”…and yes, it’s a (very) thinly-veiled cry for attention. I normally associate that behavior with 12 year old girls.

  4. creativevortex / Sep 24 2012 8:09 pm

    “If you don’t repost you don’t care…” this is soooooo irritating!

  5. Sarah / Sep 24 2012 9:01 pm

    I like this overall, but am a massive complainer: I subscribe to the old adage that misery loves company. It just makes me feel better! So, just want to add some context to #8. To my knowledge, no one has unfriended me because of this, including you.

    • bethanyshondark / Sep 24 2012 9:44 pm

      You are not a complainer. And when you do complain (and it is always for good reason), you do so with amazing strength.

  6. Gerard J. Perry / Sep 24 2012 9:27 pm

    “My husband won’t let me buy a new sheitel!”

    I get that a lot.

    Seriously, I agree with almost every one of these, save the complaints and bereavement messages.

  7. chewie402 / Sep 25 2012 8:16 am

    It’s 2012…almost 2013…can we please agree to stop clicking the link accompanies “OMG I can’t believe this, you really can see who is viewing your profile…” messages?

  8. Ben / Sep 25 2012 8:51 am

    I really enjoyed this. Thanks!

  9. P. Ang / Sep 25 2012 2:45 pm

    Number nine desperately needs to be moved to number one.

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